Individual thought patterns V.024: The Ten Commandments of Metal

Monday, December 29, 2008

The Ten Commandments of Metal

I just found this is on the comments section of ENSLAVED MYSPACE, thought it was funny, and I would like to share. BTW, writing some more reviews, my LATE best of 2007, and my best of 2008 will be next month, and more reviews, ect. I promised a friend the "Rules of doom metal" and there are many. So it MUST be done, because yes, us metal heads have a sense of humor, as the culture of extreme metal and various genres is just important as the music.
FROM some dude on MYSPACE via ENSLAVED comments section:

THE NEW TEN COMMANDMENTS

1.
THOU SHALT LOVE METAL MUSIC WITH ALL THINE HEART

2.
THOU SHALT MEDITATE ON METAL MUSIC DAY AND NIGHT

3.
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL MUSIC FROM ANY OF MY FAVOURITE METAL BANDS

4.
THOU SHALT LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR ONLY IF THEY LOVE METAL MUSIC

5.
THOU SHALT HATE THY NEIGHBOUR IF THEY PLAY POP MUSIC/R &B/RAP/COUNTRY--FOR IT'S RETARDED! (YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO BURN THEIR HOUSE DOWN)

6.
THOU SHALT NOT ENVY TRY-HARD, WANNABE, EMO BANDS WHO TRY TO IMITATE METAL MUSIC

7.
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT MUSIC ADULTERY BY FALLING IN LOVE WITH NON-METAL MUSIC GROUPS

8.
THOU SHALT NOT LIE THAT YOU ACTUALLY AGREE WITH ME THAT METAL MUSIC IS THE BEST (JUST ADMIT IT--AND WE CAN BE NEW BEST FRIENDS :0 )

9.
THOU SHALT NOT BOAST ABOUT STUPID, NON-METAL BANDS-BECAUSE THEY ALL SUCK!

10.
THOU SHALT CONVERT ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO THE BEST RELIGION OF ALL:

MUSIC METALISM

DO ALL THESE COMMANDMENTS AND YOU SHALL BE ABLE TO ENTER HELL WITH SATAN-AND HE SHALL BE VERY HAPPY WITH YOU.
Thanks-Stay Metal, Stay Brutal- -l- \m/

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Follow @ITPV020 Tweet to @ITPV020 8f43f88ff8eaf1143aa91e6921dcf2e5 ITP RATING SYSTEM FOR EXTREME METAL CD REVIEWS: A feature entitled ITP BLAST BACK REVIEWS: A RE RATE of reviews (that year) to see if I over or under rated certain releases. Just the rating, and there's no guarantee that all ratings will change. All ITP REVIEWS are on a BELL CURVE in comparison to previous (band/artist) releases and whatever else is released that year in said genre. ITP EXTREME METAL RELEASE REVIEW RATING SYSTEM: ***** (5 stars)=Awesome, a classic, timeless, unholy **** 1/2 (4 and half stars)=amazing, perhaps this bands best **** (4 stars)=very good, well worth the purchase *** 1/2 (3 1/2 stars)=Good, standard fare, for fans and not new converts *** (3 stars)=Good, but flawed, no progression here ** 1/2 (2 1/2 stars)=Bordering on mediocrity, band is overrated ** (two stars)=somewhere between mediocre and SUKETH * 1/2 (1 1/2 stars)= SUKETH (this release SUCKS) * (one star)=Awful, this CD can only be used as a beer coaster or a Frisbee. ? (No stars)=this band and release blow goats. ITP STATES (DISCLAIMER): PLEASE no rap fans or bands, no emo, punk, hardcore, metal core or nu metal retards, NO politicians. This journal is protected under first amendment rights, if you're offended, please leave, chances are, we are offended by YOU. This is NOT a personal diary, this is an extreme metal journal, about and for extreme metal heads whom are not ignorant to the reality of society. The opinions expressed on this journal do NOT reflect the scene, industry, genre, town, local and regional promoters, venues, clubs or government, landlords, management, housemates ect. No religious wingnuts...Don't blame us as we're straight edge. This journal is anti establishment, but please no national socialists or political propaganda. No, I'm NOT your booking agent, promoter, manager, public relations assistant. However, if you're a good extreme metal label or webzine, hire me as your PR assistant/writer. BTW, we're straight edge, and we don't like drug addicts. All sources are attributed, there are NO illegal downloads here. Please support music and not rumors. ITP recommends that readers are 18 and up, we are not responsible for raising your kids. I don't like people whom don't respect the metal genres, or ME following me on or offline, stalking or menacing me, any obsessions, or neighbors looking to fight, or make a delusional conspiracy theory out of nothing, so I will take legal action to define a boundary with posers and bullies. These bullies are NOT allowed at our or any metal shows. NEW POLICY REGARDING ITP V.018 VS. SYNDICATES: RSS FEED BY PERMISSION ONLY. FEEDS/syndicates are a pain to manage, and can be claimed and controlled by someone other than the blogs primary author. ITP V.015 new policy does NOT allow FEEDS without permission and consent from ITP's author.Consent means sign up for said syndicate, chances are, ITP V.013 was taken without CONSENT, and not without express written consent. ITP does NOT endorse sexism, fascism, racism homophobia nor porn NONE of that, and ITP is NOT responsible for any statements or actions via readers, artists or bands, separating the artists and musicians from ITP V.018's author. 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It is NOT ITP's responsibility for promoting your venue, club or crap band or show, DIY and promote your self, If I don't promote you or your band are awful, the music is awful. ITP only promotes what SHE likes, go play in your own sandbox. I don't promote local or regional bands or/and venues just because they are local, nor do I ignore bands and venues from out of state and out of the U.S. . ITP does not promote main stream music nor mall core..Only extreme metal.. There are a couple of labels that are blacklisted, one that is national socialist. A few bands are blacklisted from ITP, and one or two venues. Obviously is someone gets in fight over ITP there will be consequences, NOT YOURS, ITP owns her own copy right. ITP is not a request journal, it is an extreme metal source for extreme metal news, no hipsters, ITP is my journal. ITP, while a media partner for most labels,does not write for nor work for record labels and is independent of record labels. ITP is not owned by a record label. BTW, regarding monetize for adverts, ITP does not normally do adverts and has not committed to monetize, although I'll look into it, depending on timing and circumstances. Thanks-Stay Metal, Stay Brutal and welcome to ITP \m/ -l- ***To experience ITP at it's fullest capabilities you'll need a good browser (MOZILLA FIREFOX or SAFARI) and a fast MODEM/CONNECTION (CABLE or WI FI) to enjoy the videos and a good set of HEADPHONES or/and speakers to enjoy the SOUND and brutality. If you subscribe to ITP don't forget to come straight to this blog for updates, videos, REVIEWS, pics for ITP's multimedia extreme metal experience. To enjoy ITP, you MUST have a BANDCAMP, YOU TUBE or/and SPOTIFY account to headbang. BTW, I almost forgot to mention, ITP is visible via BLOGSPOT, target FACEBOOK. So add ITP is under said bloggers given name on FACEBOOK. Not all ITP V.018 posts show up on the main feed nor get passed my timeline (isn't that the truth on FB, only 15% of posts end up in the main feed passed your timeline). Just switch your setting to "SEE FIRST" under ITP editors given name, and you'll see ITP V..024 BLOGSPOT posts. ..Or/and join ITP syndicates. ITP EST and BRUTALIZING THE WORLD SINCE 2004 first on AOL (ya probably noticed ITP V.08, V.09, and V.010 ect. since 2008, ITP ON BLOGSPOT since 2008.): ITP V.024 REVIEWS: 2024-: 7/7/2024--MY DYING BRIDE: "A MORTAL BINDING" ITP EXTREME METAL NEWS FEATURES: NOTES FROM THE EXTREME METAL UNDERGROUND (DEATH,GRIND, THRASH METAL NEWS), HUMANITY IS DOOMED (FUNERAL DOOM, DEATH/DOOM, SLUDGE, BLACKENED DOOM, AVANT), BLACK METAL NEWS (DEPRESSIVE, WAR, BLACKENED THRASH, AMBIENT) SPRING 2024 (T.B.A.) Thanks-Stay Metal, Stay Brutal-\m/ -l-

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Individual thought patterns V.024

Monday, December 29, 2008

The Ten Commandments of Metal

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