Individual thought patterns V.024: GWAR: Two GWAR Members To Join Their Scumdog Brothers on the GWAR Eternal Tour this Fall!

Friday, September 19, 2014

GWAR: Two GWAR Members To Join Their Scumdog Brothers on the GWAR Eternal Tour this Fall!

Richmond, Virginia based metal legends GWAR have CONFIRMED the rumors and inevitable, the band has employed a NEW FEMALE member, the second female in the band since SYLMENSTRA HYMEN. Ladies and Gents, welcome VULVATRON (debuting at RIOT FEST 2014) to GWAR's ranks.
Also, The Berserker Blóthar will spit venom for GWAR ON VOCALS and make a mess. GWAR have announced a fall 2014 NORTH AMERICAN tour with CORROSION OF CONFORMITY, DECAPITATED and AMERICAN SHARKS.

GWAR main man DAVE BROCKIE's (AKA ODERUS URUNGUS) was being investigated by Richmond, Virginia police as drug related. DAVE BROCKIE (AKA: ODERUS URUNGUS) vocalist of GWAR was found DEAD Sunday 3/23/2014 at 50 of an accidental heroin overdose..

GWAR guitarist CORY SMOOT (FLATTUS MAXIMUS) passed away on the band's tour bus in 2011.

GWAR have been an active band since the late 80's, as the band concept was started by Virginia University college art students.

GWAR unleashed "BATTLE MAXIMUS" 9/17/2013 via METAL BLADE RECORDS.

FROM GWAR:
GWAR, the most brutal band in existence, has bolstered its ranks leading up to the GWAR Eternal Tour. The Berserker Blóthar and Vulvatron are the latest intergalactic warriors to be banished to the pathetic mudball known as Planet Earth. Blóthar; a fat, filthy, frozen space viking, will take over as GWAR's lead vocalist. The role of the red-hot cybernetic spitfire known as Vulvatron is more mysterious... Both will feature prominently in the anticipated GWAR Eternal Tour - which promises to be the most shocking and entertaining rock show of the year! Get to know your new masters before they grind you to a bloody pulp!
Blóthar
Size: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL
Origin: The Berserker Blóthar is an ancient shape-shifting holy warrior from the planet Scumdoggia. Blóthar is known to associate with intergalactic outlaw biker gangs
Position: Doggy Style baby! A true Renaissance man; Blóthar sings, he dances, he kills things...
Features: Blóthar wears a ceremonial headdress fashioned from the gigantic antlers and pelt of a Spectral Moon Moose he killed eons ago. He carries a mighty battle axe, an impenetrable shield, and for some reason has grown a set of hideous space udders
Hobbies: Ice fishing and ritual murder
Quote: "I went into a trance of blinding rage. I must have killed a million space apes. I was sleeping it off, and I woke up with a piss boner. I figure, why waste it, you know? So I'm rubbing one out, and the next thing I know, I'm on stage with GWAR in front of thousands of hideous, acne-ridden teenaged humanoids. I was promised there would be wifi, but it's hit or miss...."
Vulvatron
Size: Genetically engineered to the optimum proportions for a female of her species
Origin: Vulvatron has returned from the year 69000, where she was a high-ranking Scumdog assassin in the battle against futuro-fascist forces. Her primary functions include mastery of the arts of war, quantum mechanics, and intergalactic musicology
Position: Head Bitch In Charge
Features: Shock-white dreadlocks, high-tech armor, cybernetic implants, boob spew, prominent posterior
Hobbies: Adapting her superior technology and sexual prowess to the present day, perfecting the chemical formula for Vulvoline - her line of signature drag-racing motor oils, hot yoga
Quote: "I have summoned Planck quantities of energy to navigate the fabric of space-time back to this primitive era on Earth. I believe our wormhole might have slightly malfunctioned upon my arrival, also ushering in a primeval creature from a far earlier era, vaguely resembling a Moon Moose. I shall have to report this anomaly to maintenance. My mission is to alter the current path of GWAR so that they might prevent the darkest period in the history of the Universe! I have calculated an optimum plan of action to achieve...Hey! Quit staring at my tits!"
See the Berserker Blóthar, Vulvatron and the rest of GWAR as they embark upon the GWAR Eternal Tour and search for Oderus Urungus!
Thanks-Stay Metal, Stay Brutal-\m/ -l-

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Individual thought patterns V.024

Friday, September 19, 2014

GWAR: Two GWAR Members To Join Their Scumdog Brothers on the GWAR Eternal Tour this Fall!

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