I'm Karyn Crisis.
Lots of people are asking me why I’m quiet, when I’m making new music, when are new classes coming out…
This is me letting you know how I am.
As a human, I’m not doing well at all. As a soul, I’m soaring. But
as a soul in a human body, let’s get really real that for me,
waking up and having a regular day does not exist for me anymore..
2 years and 10 months ago I was medically injured, which as left me
disabled and disfigured and facing unpredictable and violent attacks of
pain daily, along with other complications. I don’t recognize myself in
the mirror, which is the least of my issues in taking care of myself. I
can only walk on one foot, hobble, a few blocks. I cannot wear regular
shoes,
I have to customize them. I cannot regulate my body temperature: I am boiling hot and freezing cold at the same time.
Why? Perhaps you’ve heard over social media that a lot of us are
going through TSW: topical steroid withdrawal/red skin syndrome/
corticosteroid withdrawal. Meaning, at some point in our lives we took
topical creams or prednisone as prescribed by allopathic doctors and now
our bodies are rebelling and purging this out not just from the skin,
but from the major organs. It’s an entire body healing and re-organizing
since this medication depletes minerals, changes how our skin creates
oils, and many other things. It’s an apocalyptic process.
The skin oozes, tears itself open, turns fluorescent red, feels set
on fire, causes so much pain my pulse can be felt on my cheeks, not to
mention deep itch and the fact that water feels like acid. The skin
becomes paper thin, then has to grow thick again, and
repeat. Sensitivities to food and scents go up and down: eating can be a
dangerous thing due to reactions, and then it smooths out and is fine
on some level...until the cycles start again. These are not even te
gruesome details.
The way some people say “I had a shamanic dream where my body was
ripped /chopped to pieces and then put back together”. I am living this,
it’s not a dream.
It is an iatrogenic condition, meaning it was caused by allopathic
medication and so there is no magic pill to cure it. There is either the
natural route, allowing the body to lead the way (which is why the
major reaction began) or taking other immunosuppressant medications
which don’t heal but also cause things like organ damage, and more.
No, I can’t just sleep through it. In fact, the first year and a
half I had to sleep propped up on a thin rail of board along only my
spine that suspended my shoulders off the mattress because they would
ooze and stick to the sheets.
Where I am now: I have to constantly make specialized bandages.
Some hours during the day I am mostly pain free and I work…then the rest
of the day or evening I am just surviving the pain attack itself and
then the reactions and other pain that goes on for various periods of
time.. It’s really unpredictable. Until recently, it was hard to open my
mouth to eat so no singing right now. Sometimes the pain makes me
unable to focus my mind, other times I seize the moments where I’m clear
and calm. I live life more slowly, because I cannot be active as Iwas
before.
Why I need help: The dermatologist who prescribed these said she’d
help me get disability, but when I made the appointment for that, she
gaslighted me and only wrote a “note” and refused to help with the
disability process. I still need : physical therapy for my feet since
I’ve not been able to walk on one and both are mangled due to walking on
ti[ toes and strange ways to get by.
I have other issues needing to tend to. I’ve found a practitioner
to help with some symptom support. I don’t know when I’ll be better.
I’ve already had some moments where I thought everything was healing up,
only for the cycles to begin again.
Unless you’ve been through this, it’s difficult to explain and has
only been recently accepted by the medical field. I’ve already tried a
ton of natural means to heal my original issue for why I took the
corticosteroids, even before this happened, but most don't work for
me. I’ve also invested in brain retraining, somatic therapy for the
trauma of this, pain management.
In Archaic and ancient beliefs, healing was a Death process..and
since I’m like a dead person in a living body, I’ve learned some
interesting and valuable insights into what was meant in these beliefs
of secret spiritual schools.
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